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Tuesday
Nov252014

Fear of success/ part one

The things in life which give us the most grief are the things we can’t control. Hoping you passed an exam, waiting for the phone to ring from that “special person” you just met, waiting for the phone to ring for that next big acting job you wanted. We fret over the “emotional risk” of success. Don’t be afraid of these small things in life. Save the emotions for happiness, make every day a successful day!

 

Here are some ways we tend to fall short:

We Refuse to Fail

Everyone says that we should fail often in order to become strong and resilient in our goals. They say that Babe Ruth hit a home run for every nine times he went to bat, Edison failed many attempts before he was successful with the light bulb. But if we are not interested in taking a fall and avoid emotional risk then we won’t fail. We’ll play it safe and stay in our comfort zone, which many of us do.

We Over Plan

Many of us are perfectionists, we want to get it right at all costs and that means that we stay in one place and never further our goals, never get out of our comfort zone! If everyone did this we wouldn’t have any doer’s in this world. Just attempting to do things without being too perfect is our goal.

We Avoid Hard Choices 

If we look down the narrow path with one direction for success we will surely fail. We need to be ready to divert our plan, from plan A to plan B and then to a plan undefined!

This single road to success is only good for emotional risk. This makes failure a certain thing. One that you may regret farther down the road. By putting the flexibility in our goal seeking we spread ourselves out on a wider playing field rather than a small tight raft with nowhere to go, insuring our immediate failure. We need to decide if something is worth the risk and be ready to say no to an idea even if we visit this later. Don’t be afraid to make hard choices that will most likely benefit you immediately than not.

We Cling to Our Ideas

We all have ideas from previous experiences, good and bad. Change is frightening and rightfully so. What if we make the wrong choice? We are here to make the wrong choices, nothing is perfect! We are humans and our mind is designed to fail, trial and error, persistence is key to success! Sacrificing our happiness for an old idea that didn’t work the first time but worked enough for a small change when if you pushed even a small bit you would have been a little more successful and either made a fool out of yourself or a hero. Take the chance and don’t worry about the emotional consequences.

 We pretend we’re Invincible 

We develop defense mechanisms that are not useful to us after a certain age. They worked when we were young but not anymore. We build up walls that look like we are in control and know all the answers but in reality these are insecurities and well-meaning people can see through this and not so well meaning people. We have all had small success and we stand firm with those small success. We neglect to ask ourselves harder questions and defer to a team of people to get another view point. This all to avoid the risk of failure.  We don’t seek counsel, there are many people of service, preachers, psychologists, mentors to name a few. If we don’t break through the barrier of self then there is no hope for us that are timid with our emotions emotions.

 Get out there and start a project, goal or just a new day! Go for the moon and you’ll hit the stars, some of us will get to the moon!

 

 

By Susan Dobson

 Life Coach

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